


One Isn't Two

by Ginbean



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginbean/pseuds/Ginbean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one who knows you best knows how to lie to you best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Isn't Two

When we graduate, we’ll probably cry a little because it’s the end of a saga and the beginning of something completely new. That’ll be when our paths diverge, remaining parallel to each other but no longer exactly the same.

You’ll call me to help you move into your new apartment, even though it’s 3 hours away and you’re giving me less than 24 hours notice. I’ll yell at you for not telling me sooner, but do it anyway because we both know I’ve been ready to do it since you announced your acceptance to Tokyo U. When it’s my turn, you’ll call me and wish me luck from a city far away, apologizing you couldn’t do the same for me. I’ll tell you not to be stupid and that I wasn’t expecting it, not when I’m going somewhere local.

You’ll tell me being that mean won’t get me a girlfriend. I’ll tell you being serious is more appealing than being gaudy.

We’ll both laugh and promise to talk again soon.

And we will, every day.

You’ll text me complaints about professors or beg for cheering up when things get hectic. I’ll tell you to grow up and be the adult you’re supposed to be. When you’re feeling homesick, I’ll take photos of sunsets in Miyagi, from the house you used to live in, and remind you it’s only a few more years. Then you can do anything you want- come back or go even further away.

When you tell me about the girls you meet, I’ll furrow my brows the same way I always do and pretend to tune you out. But I never will, I promise. I’ll always wait for the day you tell me you think you’re serious.

When you graduate, this time from a school I don’t know and with classmates who are strangers, I’ll come see you with your family and congratulate you with a grin. I’ll tell you you’re a step closer to being a proper man. You’ll laugh, whine and we’ll fall back in with each other like we were never apart.

And when you come to mine, you’ll smile so proudly and maybe even shed a tear or two because you’re sentimental like that. In response, I’ll laugh and call you an idiot, because that’s how it’s always been. And when you bring your girlfriend because it’s your 2 year anniversary, I’ll know I should start waiting for the day you invite me out to tell me you’re planning to propose. 

At your wedding, I’ll tell you not to name your kid Hoshiko, like I know you’ve always wanted to. Kids’ll tease her for having a name too close to Hachiko. But you won’t. You’ll name her Kazuko, and when I raise my head to stare at you, the small child in my arms suddenly feeling like a weight- I won’t know what to say. She’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.

I’ll call you a dumbass.

You’ll tell me to watch my language.

I’ll swallow back a sob.

And that’ll be my first slip up, because you’ll ask me what’s wrong. I’ll grit my teeth and look back at your daughter, saying it’s none of your business. That she’s beautiful. That she doesn’t deserve a crappy dad like you. You’ll squawk, assume I’m touched by your decision to name her after me, and that’ll be the end of it.

I wonder if you’ll ever think about that day. Pay attention to that niggling feeling that says it wasn’t what you thought it was after all. By the time we’re almost 40, you’ll ask me if I’ve thought about settling down- tentatively broaching a subject you’ve been too cautious to ask about until then. 

I’ll tell you it isn’t my thing. That I can’t find the right person and I’m not really interested in trying anyway.

It’ll be a lie. By then, I’ll have tried desperately. I’ll have run through so many women in life, girls will think I’m a player. You would laugh if you knew, probably.

It won’t be their fault, it’ll be mine. I’ll choose women I thought I could get along with. Women who were both intelligent and goal-orientated. Ones who were driven, who wanted to achieve their dreams even if it meant sacrificing something else. The ones who’d laugh off concern and only give into stress when they thought no one else was looking. Women who’d make shitty jokes, play around and act insincere but couldn’t be more kind-hearted, sweet or… 

_ … fuck…  _

Hey… when is it okay to say it? When can I tell you about this stupid emotion of mine without hurting you? How can I put it in a way that won’t make you smile painfully because you don’t want to hurt my feelings but can’t return the sentiment?

_Because I…_

**Author's Note:**

> Hoshiko (星子) - star child  
> Kazuko (一子) - one child  
> Hajime (一) - one
> 
> Rather abruptly, I wanted to scratch my sadistic itch.


End file.
